Drowning

Turn up the radio

to occupy my mind

while my hands

scrub, sweep, bake, diaper

wipe up another spill

 

This sad, sad song

builds a lump in my throat

takes me like a fever

sing along off-key manically

gasping for air

as words catch in my mouth

 

My body remembers freedom

long lazy days of passion

partners in a young paradise

addicted to adventure

focused on what you feel

 

My eyes see clutter spilling over

my soul is drowning

in dirty dishes and shit-stained laundry

suffocating on cat hair and dust bunnies

I watch the hours of my youth tick away

while I drive carpool

and march single file

in the endless drill of the grocery line

 

I had technicolor dreams

the road map to get me there

but now I work 24-7 at a thankless job

while student loan debt roils

in my rearview mirror

and my degree putrefies

filling my nose like the trash

I should have taken out yesterday

 

My husband can sell his soul

to keep the bills paid

kill his time with video games

sleep on the guest bed

sell his soul to keep bills paid

kill time with video games

sleep on the sofa

sell his soul

with video games

and almost never

sleep with me

 

I’ll just turn up the radio

let sad songs drown me

and dirty dishes bury me

choke to death on dust

they’ll discover my body

when they get hungry

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One thought on “Drowning

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