are you an iceberg

or just a cold man

floating in the cocktail

that was once my bubbling life

watering me down as you melt

a sad little puddle of anger and delusion

a snowflake that thinks it’s granite

a drop of water that forgot it is the ocean

 

I am the Titanic

and whether or not you are deeper than you appear to be

I am bound to sink

for I thought myself unstoppable

too big to be undone

turns out I’m just as full of hot air pockets as you

each filling with ice water

the cold is becoming unbearable

 

I used to be a flame you worshipped

drawn like a moth

’til you were close enough

for me to melt your skin

tough-guy candy shell coating

crackling between my teeth

I used to chew boys up and spit them out

like cheap chewing gum

you stick to the roof of my mouth

I gag and gag

but have no way of expelling you from my life

 

for you have me tethered to an anchor

(payback for all those Bubble-gum-boy’s hearts)

trapped by the enormous weight of my love

the bird-like rib cages of three small sisters

cage me like a criminal

behind the walls of my own home

 

and if all these walls could speak

would they spill my shame like a river

rolling over everything

bursting pipes

burdening septic systems

until sewage seeps up from the front lawn

so the neighbors can smell the lies behind the smiles

 

and you, an iceberg in the mudslide

pulling me under

battered by the debris that was my life

head barely above the surface

sinking

sinking

drowning

sinking

drowning

sinking…